How Do You Start the Prenup Conversation?
You have taken time to nourish your relationship and are now thinking of spending the rest of your life with your partner. However, you would like to have a prenuptial (prenup) agreement. Does this mean you are already planning for a divorce? Won’t initiating such a conversation lead to a break-up?
Not at all. A prenup can actually provide a lot of security for a couple because it sets the parameters for what will happen if their marriage falls apart — and that can make it easier for both parties to settle into their relationship. Here is how to handle this conversation:
Do it sooner
Most people procrastinate having prenup conversations because they don’t want to compromise their relationship with their partners. Accordingly, they raise the matter late, perhaps close to the wedding, which can be unfair and unlawful.
It’s vital to start the prenup discussion sooner. Give your partner time to learn more about the agreement to make an informed decision.
Explain the reason behind your decision
Your spouse should know why you want a prenup. When you don’t explain your reasoning, they may believe you don’t trust them or are planning for the marriage to fail before it starts.
So, let your partner know how the agreement will benefit both of you. They are more likely to refuse to sign something they believe will benefit you alone. You should also inform them you strongly hope the marriage lasts forever; the prenup is a precaution.
Listen and understand your partner’s perspectives
When your partner communicates their views or concerns regarding prenups, you should listen to them carefully. Basically, you and your future spouse should have a discussion – you state your wishes, they inform you of theirs and you try to find common ground. Don’t make them feel like you have already decided everything you want and won’t negotiate on the matter.
Prenup conversations can be challenging. You need to be well-informed to approach the discussion from the right angle. Legal guidance can help.